Relationship Pattern Check-In

No score. No verdict. No diagnosis. Thirteen questions about what happens, the context around it, and whether you have become more or less free to make ordinary choices. Answer only what you want to answer.

Educational content, written from published research and recognized domestic-violence resources. How this content is developed. MendRii is general-public educational software — not a clinical service, assessment or professional advice.

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Which of these is closest to your situation right now?

Does either of you provide care, health or accessibility support to the other?

This matters because help that is genuinely wanted can look, from the outside, like the same behavior as control. MendRii keeps the two apart.

Connection and isolation

1.Do you see friends or family less than you used to because of how it goes when you do?

Privacy and monitoring

2.Are you expected to share your location, phone or messages, or to account for gaps in your day?

Money, work, study and independence

3.Do you have to ask, explain or justify to spend money that is partly or wholly yours?

Rules, permission and saying no

4.Are there rules about what you wear, eat, do or who you see that only apply to you?

Sexual autonomy

This one is personal. Skip it freely — “prefer not to answer” changes nothing about your results.

5.Have you gone along with sex or sexual acts because of pressure, guilt, persistence or fear of the consequences of saying no?

Reproductive autonomy

This one is personal. Skip it freely — “prefer not to answer” changes nothing about your results.

6.Has anyone pressured you about pregnancy, or interfered with contraception or your reproductive decisions?

Degradation and undermining

7.Are you put down, mocked or humiliated — in private or in front of others?

Reality and self-trust

8.Are you regularly told that things you clearly remember did not happen, or that you are too sensitive?

Threats, intimidation and consequences

9.Have there been threats — about leaving, children, money, immigration status, exposure, self-harm, or harm to you?

Unwanted pursuit

10.Does someone keep contacting, following or turning up after you have asked them to stop?

Children, family, pets and what matters to you

11.Are children, family, pets, immigration status or your reputation used to get you to do things?

What happens when you raise a concern

12.When you raise a concern, does it end with you apologizing and them being the injured one?

Your own freedom of movement

13.Do you change what you say, wear, spend, post, pursue or who you see, mainly to avoid someone's reaction or keep the peace?

0 of 13 answered

Common questions

Is this a coercive control test?

No. It is a set of reflection questions. It is not a test, not a screening instrument and not an assessment. It produces no score and no verdict. It simply reflects back what your answers describe, and points to reading on each area.

Why does it ask follow-up questions?

Because a behavior on its own rarely tells you much. Whether something was freely agreed, whether it goes both ways, whether it can be revisited, what happens if you say no, whether it repeats, and whether it is spreading — those are what matter, and they are what the follow-ups ask about.

What if nothing comes up?

Then nothing came up. That does not establish that a relationship is healthy or safe. These questions cover some patterns, not everything that can be wrong, and only you know what they missed.

Are my answers stored?

No. These questions run entirely in your browser. Nothing is sent anywhere and nothing is saved.

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Educational content only. These questions are not a test, screening instrument or assessment. They do not assess risk or danger, do not diagnose anyone, and are not legal, medical or therapeutic advice.